Stock Phoenix
The cascade of hats soaring through the air, tassels fluttering in the breeze, accompanied with loud shouts of jubilation filled my heart with a new found sense of freedom. Finally, a whole new life set before me with all the promises of greatness. I turned to my right as I felt a strong hand pull my shoulder swiveling me around until I was facing a man of equal height and stature to my own, but with blonder hair and much more piercing, blue eyes. “We’re finally free buddy!” Nathan exclaimed. “You ready to go to dinner with our parents and Adriana?” he asked. “Yeah, just give me a sec,” I said as I started to search for my estranged hat and tassel.
As we sat at the dinner table with both of our families, I glanced at the brunette with the perfect figure and glowing skin grasping Nathan’s hand, the large rock on her finger glistening in the candlelight. I couldn’t help the fountain of envy that boiled up inside of me as I saw the way she looked at my best friend; her eyes brimming with love and pride staring at his golden locks. Nathan lightly tapped his glass with his knife to signal a speech about to be made. After a long notification of his thanks for all the love and support over the years, he finished with saying, “After these amazing four years at Stanford, I can’t imagine a better way to start my life than to open a stock portfolio with all of the generous gifts of cash I have received. Ryan,” he said as he pointed in my direction, “has decided to mimic my endeavors and I wish him all the best. Now;” he paused as he raised his campaign flute high in the air, “to the beginning of the rest of our lives,” he finished. Our glasses splintered the soft light as they were raised high in a toast before the “tink” of crystal meeting crystal filled the room.
“Sir,” I faintly heard the voice of my new butler say through the cloud of my dreams. “Sir, you told me to wake you at 6am to take Mister Nathaniel Scott’s to the airport,” said the soothing voice.
“Thank you Bernard,” came my voice muffled by the down pillows enveloping me in sleep. I dragged my aching muscles out of my king size bed and groggily looked around my gargantuan apartment. I couldn’t believe that in the six weeks since graduation my stock portfolio had almost tripled, and tried not to think about the misfortunes that had befallen Nathaniel in his endeavors as I slipped on my Corneliani suit. I stopped by Nathan’s apartment to him pick up along with his fiancée, Adriana, in my flame red Ferrari.
As we approached the line to pass security, Nathan pulled Adriana aside for one last goodbye. I accidentally overheard their broken conversation…
“Nathan, please- don’t go…” said Adriana in her musical British accent before Nathan interrupted her,
“You know I have to. I have nothing left. At least I will have a steady job this way rather than relying on luck, right?”
“Please…” Adriana gasped through a steady stream of tears.
“This is the only way we can have a real life together. Just one year- that’s it. Just- promise you will wait for me? Promise,” said Nathan with a hushed, pleading air.
Adriana looked deep into his ocean colored eyes before slowly nodding her head with a barely audible, “I promise.” That boiling spring of jealousy started to bubble inside me as they embraced and kissed for several minutes.
The two walked towards me, and I turned my head as if I had not been watching this passionate scene before Nathan nudged Adriana into my arms.
“Take good care of her, Ryan,” he told me.
“You can count on me to do just that,” I said before giving him a quick hug. “Don’t forget to keep in touch,” I said in almost a mocking tone, as Nathan rarely forgot to do anything important. I remember the scent of fresh rose blossoms filling my senses as Adriana’s head plopped on my shoulder, our arms waving farewell to her lover and my close friend.
The air seemed to be unusually damp as I drove Adriana home. As we sat parked in front of her driveway, she paused and looked up at me with those beautiful hazel eyes saying, “I can’t believe he’s gone. What am I going to do for a whole year while he looks for a job?”
“Don’t worry, Adriana,” I said in the most soothing tone I could muster. “Look, if you ever need anything at all, don’t hesitate to call, ok? I can always find time for my best friend’s girl,” I said as a warm smile spread across my face.
She flung her thin arms around my neck with a soft, “Thanks, Ryan. You’re the best,” before the passenger door opened and shut with a crisp “click.”
Over the next couple months, Adriana called me to get together multiple times. We would always rush to the country club to play a couple rounds of golf, or take a cruise in my catamaran as she would tell me about her days, dank with the memory of her fiancée, who seemed to be calling less and less. I always marveled at how Nathan could abandon such an amazingly charismatic woman and start to even refuse to talk to her. Was work really that important that he had to shut out the love of his life, trying to focus?
This thought was floating through my dreams before a shrill ringing woke me. I looked at the clock only to see that it was 2:16am. Who on Earth could be calling me this late? I thought angrily as I picked up the receiver. “Hello?” I said in a dazed voice. My senses snapped into clearer focus as I heard heaving sobs on the other end of the phone. “Hello? Adriana? Is that you?” my voice was becoming more panicked by the second. What did he do to her this time? What could have possibly happened?
Her feeble voice said, “I’m pregnant. Ryan I can’t take this anymore.”
My mind was now running at 500 miles per hour. “Hold on, what? Are you sure?”
“Yes I’m sure. I have been for the past month and a half,” she said, almost maniacally.
“Does Nathan know?” I asked, scared of the answer.
“I have no idea. His phone number doesn’t work, his e-mail has changed and I have no idea why he hasn’t responded to any of the snail mail I have sent him,” her voice was becoming more mangled through the receiver with every word.
“Okay, just calm down. I’m sure there’s an explanation for this…” I said, trying to calm myself more than I was Adriana.
“There’s no one I can turn to Ryan. No one. My parents won’t understand, Nathan’s gone. None of my friends would have any sympathy or offerings of support. Please, I just… I just…” Adriana was now crying so hard that her tears overpowered her determination to speak.
“Well, you have me,” I said in an attempt to salvage the situation. “Look, if Nathan isn’t going to have the balls to take care of you then I will.” I took a deep breath and contemplated if I was perhaps going insane before saying, “If nothing else, you and I could get married. Your parents have taken quite a liking to me and I would take care of you and your child as if it were my own.”
There was a slight pause as Adriana gathered her thoughts before saying, “Oh Ryan, you would do that for me? I mean, I know technically I could get it ‘taken care of,’ but I just couldn’t deal with that if I had another way out,” her voice rang with a renewed sense of hope.
I couldn’t believe that my ludicrous idea had actually resonated with Adriana in a positive way, but managed to say, “Of course. We’ve always been close right? And, if you want, we could go down to the courthouse tomorrow afternoon and have a private little ceremony before you get too far along.”
Adriana took what felt like an eternity to respond, “That sounds… respectable. I can’t even believe how good you are to me, Ryan. That you would dedicate the whole rest of you life to me because of my stupid mistake…”
Her voice trailed off until mine took its place, “To tell you the truth, Adriana, you have always had my heart. Always,” I said before placing the phone back in its home. The next day, we headed down to that house of law, her in a beaming white sundress, me in my finest Gucci tuxedo, and vowed to never forsake each other.
Another four months passed, and as her belly started to grow, so did our affections for each other. We took thousands of pictures and played Mozart through Bose headphones into her abdomen. Countless trips to the park and the glow that emanated from her skin will forever be engrained in my memory. But that Sunday morning I knew something was wrong even before I got the call. My cell phone started playing Fur Elise before I clicked it open to hear a panicked Bernard say, “She’s fallen sir. They are rushing her to the hospital now. It doesn’t look good sir. There was a lot of blood.”
At the word blood I literally jumped into action and drove to the hospital in such a hurry that it was a miracle no one got hurt in the process. I saw her haggard face as I approached the room, and knew right then, before the doctor explained the medical details, that the light of our lives was gone.
“We did everything we could, Ryan. I’m so sorry, but at least Adriana is ok,” came the distant voice of the physician. She’s not ok, I thought. She won’t ever be ok. Not after losing her baby girl… What are we going to do…? I tried to quiet my thoughts as I walked towards her and kissed her forehead that was still damp with sweat. Her eyes were staring at the wall in front of her, glazed over as if she had been turned into the living dead.
The next few months floated by in almost complete and utter silence between us. I think it took Adriana at least a good three weeks before she spoke to anyone at all, and about ten before she uttered anything but hello and goodbye to me. As our conversations finally started to blossom again, our finances started to dwindle from the large payoffs that I was used to receiving from playing the stock market. About six months after the miscarriage, I was sorting through a bunch of old bills until some dropped to the floor, making a horrible mess. A little disgruntled, I picked up the dried tree pulp scarred with money figures and was about to forcefully throw them in the recycle bin, before a certain magenta note already lying in the bin with the name, Nathan, hastily scribbled onto it caught my eye. I let the papers in my hands float to the floor again as I picked up the pink note that had an address accompanying the very familiar name I had just rediscovered. As if in a trance, I looked up the apartment complex and drove to the spot that I suspected I would find my old friend to give him a piece of my mind.
I wended my way up three flights of stairs before finally reaching a red door marked with the numbers that matched the note; 365. My fist stopped in mid-air as I heard moans emanating from behind the wooden gateway. My mind started to race before my fist then made forceful collisions with the wood in front of me. I pressed my ear against the smooth oak to hear whispers and scuffling, but no answer. I figured there was only one other way to find out what was behind this door, so I lifted my right leg and kicked the wood harder than I had ever kicked in my entire life. The sound of splintering wood resounded through the apartment before I coolly made my way into the bedroom filled with red and white satin.
An older, blonder version of my old friend popped out from underneath the sheets before letting out a girlish squeal and saying, “Oh my God, Ryan…”
As soon as Nathan said my name, I saw the chocolate tresses that belonged to my Adriana also spring from beneath the sheets, as a gopher popping out of its hole in one of those horrible carnival games. I slowly walked towards the two people who had so deeply betrayed me with a sense of wrath like I had never felt before.
“Adriana, go home,” I said in such a restrained and deep tone of rage that I have not been able to duplicate since.
“But…” she started to say before my voice now boomed and echoed throughout the apartment,
“GO HOME. I will deal with you later.” Adriana grabbed one of the satin sheets as if to shield herself from the livid man I had become, before scurrying over to scoop up her clothes and run out of the room, as I noticed a shocked and confused look spread across Nathan’s face. I now turned to the man I had been careening in hatred against for all these months.
“Ryan- what’s gotten into you? Why are you here?”
“What do you think- huh? That you can just disappear off the face of the planet and come prancing back here to claim your prize? Do you have any idea how much pain you have caused us?”
“What? What are you talking about?” I felt the blood boil in my veins as those words were uttered from his mouth.
“Oh, don’t play dumb with me. Why are you trying to steal my wife from me? What did I ever do to you to deserve this kind of betrayal?”
I saw a look of realization flash across his face before it began to turn a nasty shade of crimson as he shouted, “Betrayal? BETRAYAL?! How do you think I feel finding out that my best friend took advantage of my fiancée not even two months after I left. What the hell? I knew you always liked her, but to take advantage of her like that? How could you do that Ryan?”
“I wouldn’t have had to marry her if you had just gotten your ass back here when she found out she was pregnant with your daughter, you fucking bastard. You abandoned her when she needed you the most. I was just here to pick up the pieces of a life that you shattered.”
The last words that spurted from my mouth hung in the dead silence that followed. Nathan’s face started to fade into a rosy pink as the air returned to his lungs in large gasps. “She was pregnant?” He managed to say through the thousands of thoughts I could see running through his brain. “She was pregnant…” he whispered as the countless thoughts whirling through his head came to a halting stop. “So where is she?” Nathan asked with a tone of bewilderment.
“Who?” I asked.
“My baby girl. Where is she?” he said, now sounding more resolute.
“Adriana lost the baby. We lost the baby.”
With these words Nathan crumpled to the floor, his head resting in his hands. Earthquakes surged through his body as he shook with lurching sobs. I softly walked towards him and squatted next to him before whispering in his ear, “You told me to take care of her, and that’s all I have ever done, Nathan. I’m so sorry that it turned out like this. Just tell me why. Why did you stop responding to her pleas? What in God’s name was important enough to leave her stranded and alone?”
Nathan raised his head until my green eyes met his icy blue stare. “It was because of my training. I couldn’t let anyone know where I was or what I was doing. They moved us around so much we never had a permanent address anyway…”
Since I was almost positive that he had snapped and just started babbling, I grabbed a hold of his shoulders and gently shook him until he stopped talking. “What training? What are you talking about?” I asked.
“I can’t…”
I shook him once more, this time more violently before saying, “Just tell me Nathan or I swear to God…”
His voice shook with panic as he confessed, “Okay, okay… look you aren’t going to believe me, but—I got a job as an undercover operative for the CIA. Not a bank, like I told Adriana and everyone else.”
I laughed in such a frigid and fanatical manner that it made Nathan’s face harden into an arctic glare as he stood with the swiftness of a fox.
“I knew you wouldn’t believe me,” he said with a tenor of unmatchable composure compared to the blubbering puddle he had been two seconds ago. He turned to a drawer next to him, flung it open and drew out a black leather case before ferociously flipping it open, revealing an ID card labeled with Nathaniel Scott, CIA across the top. He flipped it shut after I had gotten a good look and stormed out of the room without even a second glance at my gaping mouth.
As I stood on the rickety pier, staring out at the waves of the ocean crashing against the shore, I reflected on that day that had unfolded about a month ago. I felt Nathan’s hand on my shoulder and his usual cool voice say, “It’s done. She’s all set to be on her own for a while before she gets up on her own two feet. You did a good thing, Ryan.” I gave a soft nod before he added in a slightly more brisk tone, “Come on, we have to get going. The director will be pissed if we’re late again.” I gave one last glance at the orange and yellow the sun’s playful rays had painted onto the clouds as it rose from its slumber before I cast the shining circular symbol of bondage to Adriana into the crashing waves and slipping into Nathan’s black Beamer. We looked each other square in the eye before unsheathing our sunglasses and saying, “From ashes to glory.”
Monday, April 28, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Homeless short story
Streets of Rain
I felt the soft pitter-patter of rain splashing across my face, drawing me out of my deep slumber and awakening my complexion with that fresh cool feeling. I looked around only to survey the various street corners with wanderers such as myself huddled together for warmth. Trash cans with flickering flames bursting from them mingled with the endless mountain of signs with different excuses and pleas for money that my eyes scanned in disgust. Keep your coins, I want CHANGE. This was the message crudely scrawled across the piece of cardboard I was holding, waiting for people to stop and stare. And they did just that. This experiment for my senior thesis had become a much bigger project than I anticipated, but I had taken that challenge and tried to embrace it the best I could. That was- until she showed up.
As I wandered to my little nook underneath the viaduct I felt a pair of eyes fixed on my every move. I was somewhat used to this feeling now, but I could tell there was something different as I slowly turned and met this stranger’s gaze. It was as if her eyes pierced to my very core, and I found myself slump until my knees were guarding me from her, my behind glued to the cold concrete as I held my sign in front of me as a shield. The woman who had now started to approach me was at least twice my age and dressed in a snow white wool coat complete with double breasted buttons and black slacks to finish the ensemble; with eyes of deep blue similar to my own and shock blonde hair. I kept my line of sight fixed on the ground in front of me until I could see the shiny black of her patent leather pumps only inches away from my own Converse tennis shoes worn with dust and grime.
“Excuse me,” she said in an almost musical voice that had such warmth it could melt a glacier. I finally relented and looked up at her as she continued, “Is there any way I could maybe- buy you something to eat?”
This is a new one, I thought as I sprang to my feet. Usually people just try to throw coins at me to ease my forged plight. But this woman seems as if she really wants to help me… I nodded eagerly at her offer and followed her to the nearest deli.
On our way I decided to inquire further into this woman’s intentions as I asked, “So, why exactly would you want to buy me food? Not that I’m complaining, I just…”
“Oh, well- I figure this will actually help you more than just trying to fix your problem with a chunk of chump change. And at least I know that the money would go to a good cause this way,” she said before I could finish my line of thinking. I found this a little strange as she seemed like the kind of woman that would decide to throw money at a situation to fix it; as she obviously had quite a bit of this commodity. But I tried to shrug off these nagging thoughts as we strolled along.
As we entered the gleaming deli she told me to pick whatever I so choose and she would cover it all. My churning stomach made my hands quite greedy as I grabbed two whole sandwiches, several bags of chips, a Snapple iced tea and some M&Ms. I saw a slight smile as warm as her voice steal across her face as she surveyed my selections before she handed the cashier a gilded VISA card in addition to requesting a sandwich and bowl of soup. After the precious goods were paid for I snuck them into my purse that I had recently fashioned out of hemp. I felt that stare upon me again until I met the woman’s gaze once more. I heartily thanked her before she asked me in a more shaky tone than I had heard previously if I would perhaps join her for lunch. Again, I found this request quite odd, as most people I had encountered tended to want to remain distant from me and my problems rather than become more involved. I paused for a few seconds before sitting in the red cushioned chair across from her.
“So, how, may I ask, did you end up here?” she asked with a voice of great concern.
I stopped shoving sandwich in my face long enough to look up at her with my ocean colored eyes in utter silence, trying to indicate that this line of inquiry could go no further.
“Alright, I guess I should start with my story before I start asking yours,” she said with another temperate smile that made my spine tingle. “My name is Kathy,” she said as she held out her hand waiting for mine to meet it in a firm grasp.
I met this customary salutation with my outstretched arm as I spurted, “I’m Jen.”
I saw her face freeze in a look I could not quite discern as to the meaning as she said, “Nice to meet you” in an almost other-worldly tone. I quickly pulled my hand away from hers and continued to stuff my face with bread and turkey. “Sorry,” she said as she shook her head, aware of the fact that she had started to creep me out.
“So what did you used to do before you came to be on the streets, Jen?” she asked me.
“I was a student at Stanford,” I said as the trained response came from my mouth.
“Really? What happened?” she asked.
“I… well, ya know- I lost my college loans, I couldn’t find a job, and my father wasn’t about to help me out, so I just came back here and tried to stay with friends until my money completely ran out. I’m just down on my luck though, I’m sure things will look up soon,” I said; feeling horrible for the first time in a long while for lying to a complete stranger who was just trying to help. But I couldn’t exactly explain how I was just trying to study why people stayed on the streets for so long and how much money they make by simply pan-handling as research for my college thesis. People who were trying to help me wouldn’t really take to the idea that I was one of the people who were just pulling a con job like half of the people I had come to know through my experiences. I could see that bright twinkle in Kathy’s eyes start to fade with the words, “my father wasn’t about to help me out” until she was staring into her soup bowl at her own reflection.
This time it was my turn to ask the questions, so I inquired once more, “So why are you so interested?”
I saw her hesitate and take a very deep breath before plunging into her explanation. “Well, the main reason I wanted to help you is you remind me of someone. Someone I lost long ago… she was very dear to me.” My stomach began to churn more vigorously at this statement, but in twisting way that had nothing to do with hunger.
“It was my own fault—” she continued, “her father took her away from me; and for good reason. I was a horrible mother to her; almost got our whole family thrown out onto the streets. So her father got full custody, and I decided to sober up. But by the time I was clean and had a respectable job again- her and my ex-husband had completely vanished. I had no way of finding them- she was left without a mother and I was robbed of my only daughter. Anyway, I have been looking for her ever since I was able to take care of myself; and you just look so much like I always imagined her looking at her age. Seeing you there on the streets I just…” her voice trailed off as my eyes were now forcibly fixed on her face as I realized why this woman had become so invested in my plight.
A teardrop rolled down her cheek as I kept staring at her with gaping mouth for a full two minutes before swiftly standing up, knocking the table on my way up thereby splashing her tomato soup onto her pristine coat. “You—” I stammered as I raised a shaking finger at her lowered head. “You think you can just… Oh my God… You can’t be…” the wrath I had building inside of me all these years suddenly came exploding out, severely impairing my ability to string words together as I stared at the woman I had no memory of except by way of stories from my father. “Just because you spit me out of your uterus and decided to finally get it together enough to try to make it all better after years of being a complete lush does not give you any right to act like my mother!” I shouted at her in the most maniacal tone I could muster. The thousands of speeches I had prepared in the nineteen years I had been waiting for this moment completely failed me as my Good Samaritan continued to bawl in a crumpled mess in front of me. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that this charming, beautiful, successful woman was the same deranged drunk that my father had always described my mother as. But there was no mistaking it as her trembling hands pulled from a pocket in her Coach purse, a picture of me as an infant that was the same one that my father had displayed in his wallet. I stumbled backwards a little ways before sprinting as fast as my legs would carry me from that store.
I finally came to a stop under an awning for shelter from the sheets of rain soaking my emaciated frame. I tried to breathe, but no air would fill my lungs fast enough in the gasping heaves that emanated from my chest. My thoughts were so scattered that I didn’t even notice one of my homeless friends, Annie, approach and throw her warm, dry jacket around my shoulders. I jumped at this gesture, but turned and threw my arms around her as I realized who had just helped me. She patted my back as I shook like a leaf with sobs that completely took over my body. How could this happen? I thought through the cloud of sorrow that had overwhelmed me. Never again… I hope I don’t ever see her again… I concluded as the rhythm of the rain pulsed through me, making me feel secure in the dingy streets of Seattle that I had finally made my home.
I felt the soft pitter-patter of rain splashing across my face, drawing me out of my deep slumber and awakening my complexion with that fresh cool feeling. I looked around only to survey the various street corners with wanderers such as myself huddled together for warmth. Trash cans with flickering flames bursting from them mingled with the endless mountain of signs with different excuses and pleas for money that my eyes scanned in disgust. Keep your coins, I want CHANGE. This was the message crudely scrawled across the piece of cardboard I was holding, waiting for people to stop and stare. And they did just that. This experiment for my senior thesis had become a much bigger project than I anticipated, but I had taken that challenge and tried to embrace it the best I could. That was- until she showed up.
As I wandered to my little nook underneath the viaduct I felt a pair of eyes fixed on my every move. I was somewhat used to this feeling now, but I could tell there was something different as I slowly turned and met this stranger’s gaze. It was as if her eyes pierced to my very core, and I found myself slump until my knees were guarding me from her, my behind glued to the cold concrete as I held my sign in front of me as a shield. The woman who had now started to approach me was at least twice my age and dressed in a snow white wool coat complete with double breasted buttons and black slacks to finish the ensemble; with eyes of deep blue similar to my own and shock blonde hair. I kept my line of sight fixed on the ground in front of me until I could see the shiny black of her patent leather pumps only inches away from my own Converse tennis shoes worn with dust and grime.
“Excuse me,” she said in an almost musical voice that had such warmth it could melt a glacier. I finally relented and looked up at her as she continued, “Is there any way I could maybe- buy you something to eat?”
This is a new one, I thought as I sprang to my feet. Usually people just try to throw coins at me to ease my forged plight. But this woman seems as if she really wants to help me… I nodded eagerly at her offer and followed her to the nearest deli.
On our way I decided to inquire further into this woman’s intentions as I asked, “So, why exactly would you want to buy me food? Not that I’m complaining, I just…”
“Oh, well- I figure this will actually help you more than just trying to fix your problem with a chunk of chump change. And at least I know that the money would go to a good cause this way,” she said before I could finish my line of thinking. I found this a little strange as she seemed like the kind of woman that would decide to throw money at a situation to fix it; as she obviously had quite a bit of this commodity. But I tried to shrug off these nagging thoughts as we strolled along.
As we entered the gleaming deli she told me to pick whatever I so choose and she would cover it all. My churning stomach made my hands quite greedy as I grabbed two whole sandwiches, several bags of chips, a Snapple iced tea and some M&Ms. I saw a slight smile as warm as her voice steal across her face as she surveyed my selections before she handed the cashier a gilded VISA card in addition to requesting a sandwich and bowl of soup. After the precious goods were paid for I snuck them into my purse that I had recently fashioned out of hemp. I felt that stare upon me again until I met the woman’s gaze once more. I heartily thanked her before she asked me in a more shaky tone than I had heard previously if I would perhaps join her for lunch. Again, I found this request quite odd, as most people I had encountered tended to want to remain distant from me and my problems rather than become more involved. I paused for a few seconds before sitting in the red cushioned chair across from her.
“So, how, may I ask, did you end up here?” she asked with a voice of great concern.
I stopped shoving sandwich in my face long enough to look up at her with my ocean colored eyes in utter silence, trying to indicate that this line of inquiry could go no further.
“Alright, I guess I should start with my story before I start asking yours,” she said with another temperate smile that made my spine tingle. “My name is Kathy,” she said as she held out her hand waiting for mine to meet it in a firm grasp.
I met this customary salutation with my outstretched arm as I spurted, “I’m Jen.”
I saw her face freeze in a look I could not quite discern as to the meaning as she said, “Nice to meet you” in an almost other-worldly tone. I quickly pulled my hand away from hers and continued to stuff my face with bread and turkey. “Sorry,” she said as she shook her head, aware of the fact that she had started to creep me out.
“So what did you used to do before you came to be on the streets, Jen?” she asked me.
“I was a student at Stanford,” I said as the trained response came from my mouth.
“Really? What happened?” she asked.
“I… well, ya know- I lost my college loans, I couldn’t find a job, and my father wasn’t about to help me out, so I just came back here and tried to stay with friends until my money completely ran out. I’m just down on my luck though, I’m sure things will look up soon,” I said; feeling horrible for the first time in a long while for lying to a complete stranger who was just trying to help. But I couldn’t exactly explain how I was just trying to study why people stayed on the streets for so long and how much money they make by simply pan-handling as research for my college thesis. People who were trying to help me wouldn’t really take to the idea that I was one of the people who were just pulling a con job like half of the people I had come to know through my experiences. I could see that bright twinkle in Kathy’s eyes start to fade with the words, “my father wasn’t about to help me out” until she was staring into her soup bowl at her own reflection.
This time it was my turn to ask the questions, so I inquired once more, “So why are you so interested?”
I saw her hesitate and take a very deep breath before plunging into her explanation. “Well, the main reason I wanted to help you is you remind me of someone. Someone I lost long ago… she was very dear to me.” My stomach began to churn more vigorously at this statement, but in twisting way that had nothing to do with hunger.
“It was my own fault—” she continued, “her father took her away from me; and for good reason. I was a horrible mother to her; almost got our whole family thrown out onto the streets. So her father got full custody, and I decided to sober up. But by the time I was clean and had a respectable job again- her and my ex-husband had completely vanished. I had no way of finding them- she was left without a mother and I was robbed of my only daughter. Anyway, I have been looking for her ever since I was able to take care of myself; and you just look so much like I always imagined her looking at her age. Seeing you there on the streets I just…” her voice trailed off as my eyes were now forcibly fixed on her face as I realized why this woman had become so invested in my plight.
A teardrop rolled down her cheek as I kept staring at her with gaping mouth for a full two minutes before swiftly standing up, knocking the table on my way up thereby splashing her tomato soup onto her pristine coat. “You—” I stammered as I raised a shaking finger at her lowered head. “You think you can just… Oh my God… You can’t be…” the wrath I had building inside of me all these years suddenly came exploding out, severely impairing my ability to string words together as I stared at the woman I had no memory of except by way of stories from my father. “Just because you spit me out of your uterus and decided to finally get it together enough to try to make it all better after years of being a complete lush does not give you any right to act like my mother!” I shouted at her in the most maniacal tone I could muster. The thousands of speeches I had prepared in the nineteen years I had been waiting for this moment completely failed me as my Good Samaritan continued to bawl in a crumpled mess in front of me. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that this charming, beautiful, successful woman was the same deranged drunk that my father had always described my mother as. But there was no mistaking it as her trembling hands pulled from a pocket in her Coach purse, a picture of me as an infant that was the same one that my father had displayed in his wallet. I stumbled backwards a little ways before sprinting as fast as my legs would carry me from that store.
I finally came to a stop under an awning for shelter from the sheets of rain soaking my emaciated frame. I tried to breathe, but no air would fill my lungs fast enough in the gasping heaves that emanated from my chest. My thoughts were so scattered that I didn’t even notice one of my homeless friends, Annie, approach and throw her warm, dry jacket around my shoulders. I jumped at this gesture, but turned and threw my arms around her as I realized who had just helped me. She patted my back as I shook like a leaf with sobs that completely took over my body. How could this happen? I thought through the cloud of sorrow that had overwhelmed me. Never again… I hope I don’t ever see her again… I concluded as the rhythm of the rain pulsed through me, making me feel secure in the dingy streets of Seattle that I had finally made my home.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Langley description
This is only the beginning of my description of my favorite place on the planet... besides Italy...
Langley
I slam the car door behind me with a crisp clack and the fresh smell of salt water of the Puget Sound fills my lungs. We glide over it in a gigantic hunk of metal that crashes through the waves with tremendous force. I scurry up the stairs and out onto the top deck to feel the wind tangle my hair and awaken my complexion. I fold my arms tight across my chest to calm the small earthquakes that surge through my body as I see through my quivering eyelashes the earthy horizon getting closer and closer. I rush back to my car before departing the ferry and soar up a couple steep hills and a long stretch of road until I approach an enormous house that sits majestically on the top of a knoll. Its beige gables stand boldly illuminated by the sunlight and my eyes fall on the rays dancing upon the mini waterfalls that splash into the tepid pools of water in the pond out front. The smell of fuchsia and roses mingles in the air and fills my heart with contentment. The front door opens and I rush into the open arms of Grams. Her snow white hair brushes against my chestnut locks in a loving embrace as I hear the familiar, “We’re so glad you are here.” Grandpop mimics this warm welcome and I walk into the golden light that envelops the hallway. I drop my bags by an old wooden chest and look out the kitchen window to see deep blue water laced by small whitecaps, framed by great pine trees on one side and gorgeous mountains capped with snow on the other.
Langley
I slam the car door behind me with a crisp clack and the fresh smell of salt water of the Puget Sound fills my lungs. We glide over it in a gigantic hunk of metal that crashes through the waves with tremendous force. I scurry up the stairs and out onto the top deck to feel the wind tangle my hair and awaken my complexion. I fold my arms tight across my chest to calm the small earthquakes that surge through my body as I see through my quivering eyelashes the earthy horizon getting closer and closer. I rush back to my car before departing the ferry and soar up a couple steep hills and a long stretch of road until I approach an enormous house that sits majestically on the top of a knoll. Its beige gables stand boldly illuminated by the sunlight and my eyes fall on the rays dancing upon the mini waterfalls that splash into the tepid pools of water in the pond out front. The smell of fuchsia and roses mingles in the air and fills my heart with contentment. The front door opens and I rush into the open arms of Grams. Her snow white hair brushes against my chestnut locks in a loving embrace as I hear the familiar, “We’re so glad you are here.” Grandpop mimics this warm welcome and I walk into the golden light that envelops the hallway. I drop my bags by an old wooden chest and look out the kitchen window to see deep blue water laced by small whitecaps, framed by great pine trees on one side and gorgeous mountains capped with snow on the other.
Stiletto Souls... my short story masterpiece... =)
Sorry about the length of this, but I hope you all enjoy it!
Stiletto Souls
Her crisp Armani suit flapped in the slight breeze, patent leather heels flashing across the pavement; her jet black hair swished to the side. The sleek noir door was swiftly closed behind her with a clack. The driver then entered the car and took his seat before his smooth voice uttered “Your father sent these for you. Some new assignments I presume,” as a dark thick folder was slyly passed from driver to passenger. Natalia listlessly thumbed through the files, until she saw a vaguely familiar face. A Miss Blair Caldwell who was known better as “Candy.”
She studied the picture attached to the file and saw a woman with flowing blonde hair, perfectly tan slender legs, and a bleached white smile that would blind you from a mile away. The look on her face was one that had been worn by years of bathing in the sun’s withering rays and repeatedly taking off her clothes just to collect the meager scraps of men’s fortunes. This surprisingly polished woman seemed to have borrowed more than she could handle paying back from Natalia’s employer. The face staring back at Natalia from a candid shot seemed proverbial, almost as in a blur she felt that she had definitely seen Candy’s face before. Natalia slightly shook her head as if this would replace the images filed away in her memories that had so inconveniently been thrown at her. After sitting in silence for a few moments Natalia’s brusque voice rung out, “Jeffery, could you please stop at the nearest grocery store before my meeting with Mr. Carpenter? I just need to pick up a few things. It won’t take long.”
“Sure thing miss,” came the courteous reply from the chauffer.
After returning with a brown paper bag filled with various supplies for her visit in Vegas, Natalia readied herself for her business meeting with a mister Jonathan Carpenter. As she entered the restaurant she spotted a tall man in a pinstripe suit with a silky blue tie perfectly tied in a Windsor double. A firm handshake solidified their introductions before a pause and recognition of familiarity.
“Wait, oh my gosh! Johnny? Is that you?” said Natalia feeling a strange sense that she had randomly been forced into a high school reunion that she did not want to attend.
“Natalia? Are you serious? Wow, they couldn’t have thrown a sweeter minx at me for this sale,” Jonathan said throwing out his arms as if he expected a warm embrace.
“Okay, now don’t even start trying to butter me up just to get a good price. I am the assistant Chief Legal Officer for this corporation now, not just your high school pal,” she retorted with a sarcastic grin on her face before relenting and giving him a quick hug.
As Natalia ordered the confit of duck and Jonathan the filet minon, they finished discussing how Natalia’s company would buy out the small casino that Jonathan’s real estate company represented, until finally the conversation took a turn for the more personal.
“So what are you up to now-a-days Jon? Do you have a family? Kids?” Natalia asked.
“Well, I’m actually looking for Marie,” he answered.
“Wait, Marie… like your high school sweetheart Marie? Miss- I’m going to throw away all of my parents money to gamble and get drunk off my ass Marie?”
As the words floated from her mouth she was suddenly back in prep school, wandering the halls and laughing hysterically watching the gleaming smile and blonde hair of her best friend. Her mind snapped into the scene of a pond glistening with golden sunlight… Come on Natalia, it’s not that far. Just jump… Came the familiar bright voice of a model-type blonde already playfully swimming in the water. Natalia shook her head once more, trying to focus on Jonathan’s face to keep her from being sucked back into that nightmare.
“That’s her. And hey, don’t be so hard on her. I remember how close you two were” he said with the tone of a wounded puppy. He picked up his highball glass and took a swig of malted scotch. Little did he know that Natalia’s mind was reeling. That’s who Candy reminded her of. But could that haggard face really belong to her friend from high school?
“So whatever happened to you two? Last I heard you were supposed to get married…” Natalia’s voice trailed off as she saw the look on Jonathan’s face.
“I don’t know exactly. Her drinking and gambling problems just got so out of control. And then we had this enormous fight, and she just sort of left and never came back. She completely fell off the face of the Earth according to her parents, and no one I know has seen her since prep school. I called her best friend at the time and she told me Marie was here in Vegas. Said she might have changed her name to get out of some trouble she might be in…”
“Oh Jonathan, I’m so sorry. I wish I could help.” The words came out of her mouth before she could stop herself. Natalia knew she couldn’t help Jonathan find Marie. Unless he wanted to find her as a rotting corpse in her apartment after tragically committing suicide, the rock bottom of her life spiraling out of control… or so it would look after Natalia was finished with her. Natalia couldn’t help but remember the cool look on her father’s face as he explained how he needed to collect some money from a couple of loaners that went south, and that she should just “deal with them as she saw fit,” while she was in the area anyway. Natalia wished she was back in the tranquility of her Chicago apartment, bundled up in the soft comfort of her down duvet, just waking up to the fingers of sunlight tickling her face until she awakened …
“Natalia? Are you alright?” Jonathan’s concerned voice swiftly drew Natalia from her daydream. Her naturally olive complexion had turned a ghastly shade of white.
“I’m sorry Johnny. Please, excuse me…” came the weak but courteous reply as she tottered off on her perfectly polished stilettos. As she sat on the creamy cool porcelain in the ladies room Natalia began to hash out all of this information that had been thrown so forcefully at her, ruining her luxurious life spawned from carrying out the “family business.” All those years going to law school only to learn all of the loopholes and ways to exploit the system to keep her father and his mobster friends out of trouble, wasted. And even before that, when all of this began, in prep school. How could she ruin the lives of the very people who used to be her boon companions? Memories of going on countless adventures through the Redwood forests near her family’s California summer home and spring breaks spent lounging by the pool swept through Natalia’s brain. No, I can’t let this shake me, she thought. All the usual rationalizations ran through her head as she tried not to start hyperventilating. They are just people. I’ve killed countless people who were threats to the family before. She will die eventually anyway… But that blinding smile wouldn’t stop burning itself into Natalia’s mind, no matter how hard she tried to shake it away. God damnit I have to do something… Finally a solution popped into the mess of Natalia’s thoughts.
After returning to the dinner table, Natalia offered her help to Jonathan by way of hiring a private investigator. “He’s helped me in the past… I hope he can be of the same or greater help to you,” Natalia said with surprising cheer. This visibly brightened Jonathan’s mood, and they continued a quite chipper conversation until Natalia excused herself from the table saying she had some other important business to attend to.
Natalia slumped back into the limo and told Jeffery, “Take me to 5421 East Harmon Avenue please.”
“Of course miss.”
Natalia rummaged through the grocery bag until she extracted some French roast coffee, a couple sugar packets, and extra strength rat poison. She slid on a pair of black gloves, the supple leather encasing her fingers in flexible security. After slipping the supplies into her enormous Gucci purse, she bound her long black locks in a sleek ponytail; a perfect compliment to her bluntly cut bangs. She checked the time as the limo slowed to a stop in front of an apartment complex.
“I’ll call you when I need you Jeffery. This might take a while,” said Natalia in the most nonchalant voice she could muster.
“Take your time miss,” retorted Jeffery.
Natalia climbed the wooden stairs and came to a red door. She coolly pulled out a key. As the door swung open, Natalia could see that her friend kept her place as immaculate as ever. She locked the door behind her before walking over to the coffee pot and brewing some of the French roast. As the smell of free trade Columbian beans wafted through the air Natalia was taken back to that glittering pond. “Come on Natalia. Just jump. It’s not that far down. I already made it. Stop being such a scaredy cat,” said a blonde girl still gleefully swimming around the watering hole like a mermaid who had just been returned to the sea. Marie always was one for peer pressure, Natalia thought… Natalia remembered the sheer terror that filled her countenance as she leapt from that rock, a good thirty feet from the gilded pond water that her friend was so happily swimming in. She also recounted the excruciating pain that followed, her leg being completely immobile, water slowly creeping into her lungs and her mind drifting into the black, the sound of Marie’s laugh still ringing in her ears before it turned to a shriek of horror; then a sudden gasping for breath and water spurting from her mouth as she realized she had just been saved from a watery grave. “I’m so sorry Natalia… I don’t know what I was thinking… Thank God I was a lifeguard this summer… Oh my God, your leg is… oh my God… Jonathan has just run off to get help, and find a phone to call 911… No don’t try to get up…” the panic in Marie’s voice was still remarkably clear in Natalia’s memory as she poured the coffee into two cups, one mixed with the sweet sugar she brought, the other with the assurance of a nasty death. Natalia carefully pulled out a snow white handkerchief and began wiping off any remnants of her identity that might have been residing on the rat poison or anything else she might have touched in the apartment.
Natalia heard the lock click and felt the cool air rush into the apartment.
Marie shut the door behind her, distracted by the pile of bills she was now examining. She stopped and looked up from her reading as she recognized the smell of freshly brewed coffee that hung in the air. The silence was shattered by the sound of papers rustling and keys clanking as Marie saw a black shapely figure sitting at her kitchen table with two steaming cups of coffee. She felt her knees buckling under her as she saw the woman that was serenely sitting at the kitchen table swivel in her seat and look at Marie with those piercing violet eyes. Marie tried to form words, but she was so out of breath she could barely keep from passing out.
“Natalia… how did you… where did you… what in the world…” came the broken phrases that Marie finally gained the strength to start spurting as she realized who this stranger was.
“Don’t speak Marie. Or should I say Blair? Perhaps ‘Candy’? Which do you prefer nowadays?” Natalia’s voice cut through the air like a knife through butter.
“I…” Marie realized she was trapped… even if she tried to run she knew she would never be safe.
“Never mind. It’s not important. What does matter is that your bad habits have not only ruined your life, but they have become fairly costly, haven’t they? So much so that you felt the need to borrow $300,000 from my father’s friends. Did you think that would never catch up to you? That you could just keep running from everyone and everything?”
With these words Natalia stood up and started to slowly walk towards Marie, as if to prove that there was indeed no way out of this situation. Marie’s whole body started to shake as if she had just been thrown into the middle of Antarctica, tears streaming down her face.
“Please. You don’t have to do this Natalia. Please. I will do anything. Just don’t kill me. Please.” Marie began shaking even harder than before as she heard Natalia say,
“Look- I don’t have a choice.”
The two women stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed like an eternity before Natalia took a couple steps back. “But you do,” she said as she stood next to the coffee mugs that were assembled on the table, and motioned for Marie to take a seat.
“But… I don’t understand…” Marie had a look of complete bewilderment on her face as she mechanically walked over and slumped into the chair Natalia had motioned to.
“Listen to me. This is the only way you can have a free life. I met with Jonathan today-”
“Jonathan? Does he know I’m here? Oh please God, say that he doesn’t know what I have been doing…” Marie interrupted as she began to cry even harder.
“No, just listen. He will be looking for you, and he will either find you here, dead, or the private investigator I hired to help him find you will make sure you two can have a life together somewhere far away. All you have to do, is choose.” Natalia finished with the calmest look Marie had ever seen on that sullen face hardened by years of ruthless killing.
“Choose what? And wait, what about you? If I suddenly disappear won’t your father know I’m still alive and come looking for me and eventually kill you?” Marie began.
“Just let me worry about me,” Natalia said in a confident tone.
Marie paused for a moment pondering what had just been said, then looked at the coffee mugs and suddenly things began to be a little clearer. “So, I choose one, and you drink the other?”
“Precisely.”
Marie stared at the two cups for a complete five minutes before choosing the pink mug- it had always been her favorite. The way it could brighten her day no matter how horrible it had been. Natalia picked up the blue mug imprinted with watercolor pansies. The two held up the mugs high in unison, saying “Cheers,” before the traditional clink of pottery tapping together resounded through the room.
Stiletto Souls
Her crisp Armani suit flapped in the slight breeze, patent leather heels flashing across the pavement; her jet black hair swished to the side. The sleek noir door was swiftly closed behind her with a clack. The driver then entered the car and took his seat before his smooth voice uttered “Your father sent these for you. Some new assignments I presume,” as a dark thick folder was slyly passed from driver to passenger. Natalia listlessly thumbed through the files, until she saw a vaguely familiar face. A Miss Blair Caldwell who was known better as “Candy.”
She studied the picture attached to the file and saw a woman with flowing blonde hair, perfectly tan slender legs, and a bleached white smile that would blind you from a mile away. The look on her face was one that had been worn by years of bathing in the sun’s withering rays and repeatedly taking off her clothes just to collect the meager scraps of men’s fortunes. This surprisingly polished woman seemed to have borrowed more than she could handle paying back from Natalia’s employer. The face staring back at Natalia from a candid shot seemed proverbial, almost as in a blur she felt that she had definitely seen Candy’s face before. Natalia slightly shook her head as if this would replace the images filed away in her memories that had so inconveniently been thrown at her. After sitting in silence for a few moments Natalia’s brusque voice rung out, “Jeffery, could you please stop at the nearest grocery store before my meeting with Mr. Carpenter? I just need to pick up a few things. It won’t take long.”
“Sure thing miss,” came the courteous reply from the chauffer.
After returning with a brown paper bag filled with various supplies for her visit in Vegas, Natalia readied herself for her business meeting with a mister Jonathan Carpenter. As she entered the restaurant she spotted a tall man in a pinstripe suit with a silky blue tie perfectly tied in a Windsor double. A firm handshake solidified their introductions before a pause and recognition of familiarity.
“Wait, oh my gosh! Johnny? Is that you?” said Natalia feeling a strange sense that she had randomly been forced into a high school reunion that she did not want to attend.
“Natalia? Are you serious? Wow, they couldn’t have thrown a sweeter minx at me for this sale,” Jonathan said throwing out his arms as if he expected a warm embrace.
“Okay, now don’t even start trying to butter me up just to get a good price. I am the assistant Chief Legal Officer for this corporation now, not just your high school pal,” she retorted with a sarcastic grin on her face before relenting and giving him a quick hug.
As Natalia ordered the confit of duck and Jonathan the filet minon, they finished discussing how Natalia’s company would buy out the small casino that Jonathan’s real estate company represented, until finally the conversation took a turn for the more personal.
“So what are you up to now-a-days Jon? Do you have a family? Kids?” Natalia asked.
“Well, I’m actually looking for Marie,” he answered.
“Wait, Marie… like your high school sweetheart Marie? Miss- I’m going to throw away all of my parents money to gamble and get drunk off my ass Marie?”
As the words floated from her mouth she was suddenly back in prep school, wandering the halls and laughing hysterically watching the gleaming smile and blonde hair of her best friend. Her mind snapped into the scene of a pond glistening with golden sunlight… Come on Natalia, it’s not that far. Just jump… Came the familiar bright voice of a model-type blonde already playfully swimming in the water. Natalia shook her head once more, trying to focus on Jonathan’s face to keep her from being sucked back into that nightmare.
“That’s her. And hey, don’t be so hard on her. I remember how close you two were” he said with the tone of a wounded puppy. He picked up his highball glass and took a swig of malted scotch. Little did he know that Natalia’s mind was reeling. That’s who Candy reminded her of. But could that haggard face really belong to her friend from high school?
“So whatever happened to you two? Last I heard you were supposed to get married…” Natalia’s voice trailed off as she saw the look on Jonathan’s face.
“I don’t know exactly. Her drinking and gambling problems just got so out of control. And then we had this enormous fight, and she just sort of left and never came back. She completely fell off the face of the Earth according to her parents, and no one I know has seen her since prep school. I called her best friend at the time and she told me Marie was here in Vegas. Said she might have changed her name to get out of some trouble she might be in…”
“Oh Jonathan, I’m so sorry. I wish I could help.” The words came out of her mouth before she could stop herself. Natalia knew she couldn’t help Jonathan find Marie. Unless he wanted to find her as a rotting corpse in her apartment after tragically committing suicide, the rock bottom of her life spiraling out of control… or so it would look after Natalia was finished with her. Natalia couldn’t help but remember the cool look on her father’s face as he explained how he needed to collect some money from a couple of loaners that went south, and that she should just “deal with them as she saw fit,” while she was in the area anyway. Natalia wished she was back in the tranquility of her Chicago apartment, bundled up in the soft comfort of her down duvet, just waking up to the fingers of sunlight tickling her face until she awakened …
“Natalia? Are you alright?” Jonathan’s concerned voice swiftly drew Natalia from her daydream. Her naturally olive complexion had turned a ghastly shade of white.
“I’m sorry Johnny. Please, excuse me…” came the weak but courteous reply as she tottered off on her perfectly polished stilettos. As she sat on the creamy cool porcelain in the ladies room Natalia began to hash out all of this information that had been thrown so forcefully at her, ruining her luxurious life spawned from carrying out the “family business.” All those years going to law school only to learn all of the loopholes and ways to exploit the system to keep her father and his mobster friends out of trouble, wasted. And even before that, when all of this began, in prep school. How could she ruin the lives of the very people who used to be her boon companions? Memories of going on countless adventures through the Redwood forests near her family’s California summer home and spring breaks spent lounging by the pool swept through Natalia’s brain. No, I can’t let this shake me, she thought. All the usual rationalizations ran through her head as she tried not to start hyperventilating. They are just people. I’ve killed countless people who were threats to the family before. She will die eventually anyway… But that blinding smile wouldn’t stop burning itself into Natalia’s mind, no matter how hard she tried to shake it away. God damnit I have to do something… Finally a solution popped into the mess of Natalia’s thoughts.
After returning to the dinner table, Natalia offered her help to Jonathan by way of hiring a private investigator. “He’s helped me in the past… I hope he can be of the same or greater help to you,” Natalia said with surprising cheer. This visibly brightened Jonathan’s mood, and they continued a quite chipper conversation until Natalia excused herself from the table saying she had some other important business to attend to.
Natalia slumped back into the limo and told Jeffery, “Take me to 5421 East Harmon Avenue please.”
“Of course miss.”
Natalia rummaged through the grocery bag until she extracted some French roast coffee, a couple sugar packets, and extra strength rat poison. She slid on a pair of black gloves, the supple leather encasing her fingers in flexible security. After slipping the supplies into her enormous Gucci purse, she bound her long black locks in a sleek ponytail; a perfect compliment to her bluntly cut bangs. She checked the time as the limo slowed to a stop in front of an apartment complex.
“I’ll call you when I need you Jeffery. This might take a while,” said Natalia in the most nonchalant voice she could muster.
“Take your time miss,” retorted Jeffery.
Natalia climbed the wooden stairs and came to a red door. She coolly pulled out a key. As the door swung open, Natalia could see that her friend kept her place as immaculate as ever. She locked the door behind her before walking over to the coffee pot and brewing some of the French roast. As the smell of free trade Columbian beans wafted through the air Natalia was taken back to that glittering pond. “Come on Natalia. Just jump. It’s not that far down. I already made it. Stop being such a scaredy cat,” said a blonde girl still gleefully swimming around the watering hole like a mermaid who had just been returned to the sea. Marie always was one for peer pressure, Natalia thought… Natalia remembered the sheer terror that filled her countenance as she leapt from that rock, a good thirty feet from the gilded pond water that her friend was so happily swimming in. She also recounted the excruciating pain that followed, her leg being completely immobile, water slowly creeping into her lungs and her mind drifting into the black, the sound of Marie’s laugh still ringing in her ears before it turned to a shriek of horror; then a sudden gasping for breath and water spurting from her mouth as she realized she had just been saved from a watery grave. “I’m so sorry Natalia… I don’t know what I was thinking… Thank God I was a lifeguard this summer… Oh my God, your leg is… oh my God… Jonathan has just run off to get help, and find a phone to call 911… No don’t try to get up…” the panic in Marie’s voice was still remarkably clear in Natalia’s memory as she poured the coffee into two cups, one mixed with the sweet sugar she brought, the other with the assurance of a nasty death. Natalia carefully pulled out a snow white handkerchief and began wiping off any remnants of her identity that might have been residing on the rat poison or anything else she might have touched in the apartment.
Natalia heard the lock click and felt the cool air rush into the apartment.
Marie shut the door behind her, distracted by the pile of bills she was now examining. She stopped and looked up from her reading as she recognized the smell of freshly brewed coffee that hung in the air. The silence was shattered by the sound of papers rustling and keys clanking as Marie saw a black shapely figure sitting at her kitchen table with two steaming cups of coffee. She felt her knees buckling under her as she saw the woman that was serenely sitting at the kitchen table swivel in her seat and look at Marie with those piercing violet eyes. Marie tried to form words, but she was so out of breath she could barely keep from passing out.
“Natalia… how did you… where did you… what in the world…” came the broken phrases that Marie finally gained the strength to start spurting as she realized who this stranger was.
“Don’t speak Marie. Or should I say Blair? Perhaps ‘Candy’? Which do you prefer nowadays?” Natalia’s voice cut through the air like a knife through butter.
“I…” Marie realized she was trapped… even if she tried to run she knew she would never be safe.
“Never mind. It’s not important. What does matter is that your bad habits have not only ruined your life, but they have become fairly costly, haven’t they? So much so that you felt the need to borrow $300,000 from my father’s friends. Did you think that would never catch up to you? That you could just keep running from everyone and everything?”
With these words Natalia stood up and started to slowly walk towards Marie, as if to prove that there was indeed no way out of this situation. Marie’s whole body started to shake as if she had just been thrown into the middle of Antarctica, tears streaming down her face.
“Please. You don’t have to do this Natalia. Please. I will do anything. Just don’t kill me. Please.” Marie began shaking even harder than before as she heard Natalia say,
“Look- I don’t have a choice.”
The two women stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed like an eternity before Natalia took a couple steps back. “But you do,” she said as she stood next to the coffee mugs that were assembled on the table, and motioned for Marie to take a seat.
“But… I don’t understand…” Marie had a look of complete bewilderment on her face as she mechanically walked over and slumped into the chair Natalia had motioned to.
“Listen to me. This is the only way you can have a free life. I met with Jonathan today-”
“Jonathan? Does he know I’m here? Oh please God, say that he doesn’t know what I have been doing…” Marie interrupted as she began to cry even harder.
“No, just listen. He will be looking for you, and he will either find you here, dead, or the private investigator I hired to help him find you will make sure you two can have a life together somewhere far away. All you have to do, is choose.” Natalia finished with the calmest look Marie had ever seen on that sullen face hardened by years of ruthless killing.
“Choose what? And wait, what about you? If I suddenly disappear won’t your father know I’m still alive and come looking for me and eventually kill you?” Marie began.
“Just let me worry about me,” Natalia said in a confident tone.
Marie paused for a moment pondering what had just been said, then looked at the coffee mugs and suddenly things began to be a little clearer. “So, I choose one, and you drink the other?”
“Precisely.”
Marie stared at the two cups for a complete five minutes before choosing the pink mug- it had always been her favorite. The way it could brighten her day no matter how horrible it had been. Natalia picked up the blue mug imprinted with watercolor pansies. The two held up the mugs high in unison, saying “Cheers,” before the traditional clink of pottery tapping together resounded through the room.
Disneyland description
Disneyland
As I hear the sound of the ticket ripping in half I look through the pearly gates of the magic kingdom. The bright sun illuminates and intensifies the cacophony of vivid colors all mingling in an overwhelming beauty. The teeming crowds swerve and swell like the ocean waves I have just seen this morning. I look up and see a castle of bright blue and dazzling white looming over me as it glistens in an acute majesty. I see hoards of children gathered around impersonators of characters from their favorite fantasies. I look one way and see a person in a large plastic duck suit surrounded by children begging for an autograph. I look the other way and see a beautiful princess in a bright yellow gown posing for pictures with a little girl giddy with delight at meeting her idol. As I survey the rest of the scene large machines built for entertainment come into view, cars whoosh by on the metal rails as screams of excitement fade into the distance. The smell of churros, popcorn and other tempting goodies waft through the air and draw me to the vendor carts that so cunningly display these treats. With a sticky caramel apple now in my hand, I pass by giant teacups whirling around frantically, children twirling around with either a putrid look of sickness or a grin of uncontrollable joy on their face. Almost as suddenly as I entered this land of brilliant colors and unbelievable fancies I come to a rugged world of adventure where earthy mountains and luminous pirate ships spring from the ground. I see winding lines of people waiting anxiously to have an adrenaline rush as figures pop out at them and scenes from their favorite movies engulf them. A multitude of familiar tunes hang in the air and combine to create a dissonant feeling of unending chaos. To escape from the scorching sunlight I stroll into the cool comfort of a shop full of objects meant to be miniature reminders of all the fabulous moments created in this magical place. All the characters so lively embodied outside are commemorated and transformed into trinkets that can be brought home- hats, t-shirts, plush representations that children can hold onto forever. The life and energy of this theme park is something that all ages should cherish. The creation and remembrance of childhood- a thing to be cherished and recreated every time I visit this space.
As I hear the sound of the ticket ripping in half I look through the pearly gates of the magic kingdom. The bright sun illuminates and intensifies the cacophony of vivid colors all mingling in an overwhelming beauty. The teeming crowds swerve and swell like the ocean waves I have just seen this morning. I look up and see a castle of bright blue and dazzling white looming over me as it glistens in an acute majesty. I see hoards of children gathered around impersonators of characters from their favorite fantasies. I look one way and see a person in a large plastic duck suit surrounded by children begging for an autograph. I look the other way and see a beautiful princess in a bright yellow gown posing for pictures with a little girl giddy with delight at meeting her idol. As I survey the rest of the scene large machines built for entertainment come into view, cars whoosh by on the metal rails as screams of excitement fade into the distance. The smell of churros, popcorn and other tempting goodies waft through the air and draw me to the vendor carts that so cunningly display these treats. With a sticky caramel apple now in my hand, I pass by giant teacups whirling around frantically, children twirling around with either a putrid look of sickness or a grin of uncontrollable joy on their face. Almost as suddenly as I entered this land of brilliant colors and unbelievable fancies I come to a rugged world of adventure where earthy mountains and luminous pirate ships spring from the ground. I see winding lines of people waiting anxiously to have an adrenaline rush as figures pop out at them and scenes from their favorite movies engulf them. A multitude of familiar tunes hang in the air and combine to create a dissonant feeling of unending chaos. To escape from the scorching sunlight I stroll into the cool comfort of a shop full of objects meant to be miniature reminders of all the fabulous moments created in this magical place. All the characters so lively embodied outside are commemorated and transformed into trinkets that can be brought home- hats, t-shirts, plush representations that children can hold onto forever. The life and energy of this theme park is something that all ages should cherish. The creation and remembrance of childhood- a thing to be cherished and recreated every time I visit this space.
Dying Dreams
Dying Dreams
she looks into the mirror
and sees nothing but oceans
of folds and bumps
dough yet to be formed into
a scrumptious dessert she keeps
telling herself
the clock runs away as she
pumps iron in endless repetition
pounding away with hopes of
an irresistible beauty bounding
forth from her personage
weeks pass by as she
strains and struggles and
strives to be the girl that will
catch his eye- put her in his dreams
but nothing
no result
she just keeps going
keeps striving and struggling
while her passions die
in their place on the shelf
she looks into the mirror
and sees nothing but oceans
of folds and bumps
dough yet to be formed into
a scrumptious dessert she keeps
telling herself
the clock runs away as she
pumps iron in endless repetition
pounding away with hopes of
an irresistible beauty bounding
forth from her personage
weeks pass by as she
strains and struggles and
strives to be the girl that will
catch his eye- put her in his dreams
but nothing
no result
she just keeps going
keeps striving and struggling
while her passions die
in their place on the shelf
Whims of a Child
Whims of a Child
are always fleeting
insatiable
an endless playground
a perpetual carnival
those who tend to them
will be ravaged to the bone
their lives
Venetian glass shattered
by the very object they nurse
the child oblivious
to the desolation incurred
and indifferent
unless it’s flow of milk and honey
is impaired- and then
will try to mend whatever
hostilities have been earned
it’s greedy fists never
grabbing quite enough
to satisfy
are always fleeting
insatiable
an endless playground
a perpetual carnival
those who tend to them
will be ravaged to the bone
their lives
Venetian glass shattered
by the very object they nurse
the child oblivious
to the desolation incurred
and indifferent
unless it’s flow of milk and honey
is impaired- and then
will try to mend whatever
hostilities have been earned
it’s greedy fists never
grabbing quite enough
to satisfy
Rice Paper
Rice Paper
wishes flutter in the light zephyr.
postulating things to come.
rosy cheeks yet to burn-
eyes yet to glisten at
the sound of a familiar voice.
arms never to be held
by the warmth of another.
the echo of tears reflecting
shattered dreams. shards of a life
broken by neglect, yet to be salvaged.
wishes flutter in the light zephyr.
postulating things to come.
rosy cheeks yet to burn-
eyes yet to glisten at
the sound of a familiar voice.
arms never to be held
by the warmth of another.
the echo of tears reflecting
shattered dreams. shards of a life
broken by neglect, yet to be salvaged.
Puppet Factory
Puppet Factory
I break like a firecracker
on New Years- one big crash
and its over
all is said and done that
needed to be
the love of another has
been keeping you going
all these months- you have
been putting on a façade that
it was me all this time that
you wanted
when really it was her
her availability seduced you
her closeness overwhelmed
you- how could you ever love a
voice in comparison to a
real person- soft flesh that
can keep you warm while I
lie here cold and numb with pain
I break like a firecracker
on New Years- one big crash
and its over
all is said and done that
needed to be
the love of another has
been keeping you going
all these months- you have
been putting on a façade that
it was me all this time that
you wanted
when really it was her
her availability seduced you
her closeness overwhelmed
you- how could you ever love a
voice in comparison to a
real person- soft flesh that
can keep you warm while I
lie here cold and numb with pain
Intangible Feeling
Intangible Feeling
her heart pounding like
a hammer on a hot August
day. slight glances towards
a tousle of auburn locks. eyes
of ocean crashing deep into
her figure. the chill of a winter’s
morn heated by the burning
of rosy cheeks. threads of ink
tattooing the paper with passion.
the note floats across the room on
the baited breath of Venus. the crisp
folds undone- the present unveiled.
what could be hiding in that space between
irresistible and unforgettable?
her heart pounding like
a hammer on a hot August
day. slight glances towards
a tousle of auburn locks. eyes
of ocean crashing deep into
her figure. the chill of a winter’s
morn heated by the burning
of rosy cheeks. threads of ink
tattooing the paper with passion.
the note floats across the room on
the baited breath of Venus. the crisp
folds undone- the present unveiled.
what could be hiding in that space between
irresistible and unforgettable?
Desk Job
Desk Job
a cold click-clack
of stilettos on the marble floor
suits straining to
strive for substance
pen strokes scratching
resentment into the surface
of this career
a life wasted
rather than carefully
recycled like the
paperwork that has
just been finished
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