The Winter Chill

How merry life can be
when cuddled in your embrace,
gazing into your eyes of ocean.

I look back at the days
of doubt and heartache
and laugh at how silly I could be.

This truth still brings light
in a quiet breed of darkness:
that your strength can be felt in me
even now through the many miles.

It’s turned cold out,
but I don’t feel the icy sting
that winter once had.

The chill reminds me I’m still
so alive; so able to feel
the happiness each and every day that
I hear your voice through the distance.

In these pages, each ink blot
carries so much love and emotion.
More than any pen could ever write.
More than my childish heart ever knew.

How I long for the days
when our lips will sing soft music
when connected once more.

And so I wait
for the leaves to turn to fire
and our hearts to be full
together once more.

insignificant

Each word spoken
falls to the ground
without being heard.

Listless nods and empty eyes
tell me how little
I really mean to them.

Why can't they see that
what they show me is a
heart that gives nothing but
a glass free from water.

No kindness flows
from their lips... only stares
and silence with every question,
followed by, I'm sorry what?

Can't they understand the
space they lose are the words
consuming my every breath?

Leaving me here... insignificant

what's eating my heart.....

Drowning in Distance

Here I sit
in the frozen sea of
stolen warmth that the miles
have robbed of my arms,
my lips,
and my skin.

Winter has turned the
embers of my love into
aching pain in the pit of my throat….
the hours that separate us
have made me writhe in solitude,
without your embrace, while a
warm smile fools the world of
what's inside.

The questions burn into my brain
When will I see you again?
How long must I wait in
silence? Why does this distance
claim my happiness and yours?

Serenity and love will surround
me again once your arms are
enveloping me with sincerity,
comfort, and tenderness. Your lips
will once again sing me soft music
when connected to mine.

something from September i never posted... go figure :P

The Black


As the sunlight fades
on the glistening dew faithfully clinging
to the petals of the blood red roses
in the garden….

love lingers and then
fades with the shimmering
light that has turned
the clouds to fire.

Through a shadowed window,
brunette locks and hazel eyes
look longingly at the black,
wishing for even the slightest sliver of silver light
piercing through the night
as sharp as his eyes pierce her soul.

But tonight not even the glimmer
of moonlight will bring a gloomy
hope to the poor nymph… a wandering
beauty with only the purest love, now lost
in the deepest ocean of doubt.

for my dearest Alexander....

Falling

with every step crunching

crisp colors fallen from their

homes in the sky, my feet remember

being synched with the swift strides

of the man with sea glass eyes, our

hands entangled in a loving embrace.

as I sit in class listening to the

chipper ramblings of a wise professor

my thoughts linger to

a chill autumn night under a

star laden canopy; shared with

the one who holds my heart.

curled up next to a roaring fire,

my lips long for the soft kisses

that send shivers down my spine;

my slender fingers wish they

could run through the lustrous locks

of the man who will always be

the one

who catched me

when I was falling.

Summer ramblings

Summer Ramblings

the buzz and *whirr*... drip, drip, drip,
into my cup of a new day begins.
toast *pops* happily and
swirls of dreams are added to my mug
along with the white snowstorm of sugar.

my stormcloud of thoughts
start to melt into the taste of
hot coffee and delicious peanut butter toast;
but the distant torrent of consciousness
stubbornly stays; my attempts of distraction
failing... as I so often have in the
battle with my doubts and worries.

my mind finally drifts to
scenes of snuggling and soft kisses
with the man I so dearly miss...
fingers running through his honey blonde
locks, gazing into his eyes of ocean.

Every moment apart from him is bittersweet-
knowing he pursues things greater than me or him;
but being seperated from the warmth of
his strong arms enclosing me in safety and love.

If only there were a way to connect the two...
perhaps whilst we both pursue our education
this can be achieved... alas.

And so I wait
for the leaves to turn to fire and the air to cool
with the comfort and serenity... of autumn.

what i should have said weeks ago...

Lingering Mentiras



drinking every last
drop of innocence
I had left inside me.
stripping me of anything
and everything I held dear.

proclamations of “love”
crafted now only as stains
that desecrate pleasant
memories; used to taint
every pleasure enjoyed.

why did I ever believe
your webs of deceit?
how could I have been so
blind to the pain that is now
a scar deeper than I even know?

but I have found now
what you claimed to have for me
all those months ago. there is
only one man who holds the key
and who heals me more than
anyone can ever know.

his arms hold me closer and
keep me safe from your attempts
to ruin me still… his lips negate
the lies that stem from yours. And
though you might try to take credit
for this bliss I have found- you will
never feel the warmth of true love
that I have now and will always.