for my dearest Alexander....

Falling

with every step crunching

crisp colors fallen from their

homes in the sky, my feet remember

being synched with the swift strides

of the man with sea glass eyes, our

hands entangled in a loving embrace.

as I sit in class listening to the

chipper ramblings of a wise professor

my thoughts linger to

a chill autumn night under a

star laden canopy; shared with

the one who holds my heart.

curled up next to a roaring fire,

my lips long for the soft kisses

that send shivers down my spine;

my slender fingers wish they

could run through the lustrous locks

of the man who will always be

the one

who catched me

when I was falling.

Summer ramblings

Summer Ramblings

the buzz and *whirr*... drip, drip, drip,
into my cup of a new day begins.
toast *pops* happily and
swirls of dreams are added to my mug
along with the white snowstorm of sugar.

my stormcloud of thoughts
start to melt into the taste of
hot coffee and delicious peanut butter toast;
but the distant torrent of consciousness
stubbornly stays; my attempts of distraction
failing... as I so often have in the
battle with my doubts and worries.

my mind finally drifts to
scenes of snuggling and soft kisses
with the man I so dearly miss...
fingers running through his honey blonde
locks, gazing into his eyes of ocean.

Every moment apart from him is bittersweet-
knowing he pursues things greater than me or him;
but being seperated from the warmth of
his strong arms enclosing me in safety and love.

If only there were a way to connect the two...
perhaps whilst we both pursue our education
this can be achieved... alas.

And so I wait
for the leaves to turn to fire and the air to cool
with the comfort and serenity... of autumn.

what i should have said weeks ago...

Lingering Mentiras



drinking every last
drop of innocence
I had left inside me.
stripping me of anything
and everything I held dear.

proclamations of “love”
crafted now only as stains
that desecrate pleasant
memories; used to taint
every pleasure enjoyed.

why did I ever believe
your webs of deceit?
how could I have been so
blind to the pain that is now
a scar deeper than I even know?

but I have found now
what you claimed to have for me
all those months ago. there is
only one man who holds the key
and who heals me more than
anyone can ever know.

his arms hold me closer and
keep me safe from your attempts
to ruin me still… his lips negate
the lies that stem from yours. And
though you might try to take credit
for this bliss I have found- you will
never feel the warmth of true love
that I have now and will always.

classroom scribbling...

Whipped Cream

as a crisp smooth voice wafts through the air
her luscious lips long for his
to be completely connected to her
creamy succulent skin

her radiant ruddy cheeks
deny her attempts at concealing the truth
her complexion magnified
by the glow of sunlight
beaming through the clouds

how she longs for his strong hands
to run through her soft locks
of chocolate brown
and his eyes of sea glass
to pierce through the bright
mix of colors in her own

for him to fulfill her wish
to be held so tightly that the
warmth of his memory
can ease her loneliness
in the coldness of absence

old poem that is aight so here ya go...

By the Bottle


raspberry vodka replaces
the tightness in my chest
with trickles of numbness
that melt away the heartache

the room spins as the roar of
friends’ laughter grows
louder with every sip; my balance
is stolen from me by my glass

the shadows of doubt and pain
are drowned by the blaring music
the room spinning in a whirl
of mirth; spiraling into destruction

the empty bottle laughs in
my face; my eyes roll round and
round until they catch a glimpse
of my life, now useless and wasted